


Immune

by iamee



Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Pre-Slash, Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 18:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/726323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamee/pseuds/iamee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In addition to being immune to guns, Javert discovers that he is also immune to drowning. When Valjean shows up right after he pulls himself out of the water, he is not happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Immune

**Author's Note:**

> Another fill for a prompt on the Les Mis kinkmeme: http://makinghugospin.livejournal.com/11667.html?thread=1493139#t1493139

**Immune**

 

"Javert!"

The sound is almost suffocated by the dark water surrounding him, the voice faint and yet so stubborn.

"Javert!"

It certainly seems as Valjean has no other place to be at this hour. Surely there must be some poor creature that needs saving, another orphan child, another dead boy, not that Javert would care, but the thought is still there and he frowns.

The man at the bank yells his name again into the night, not tiring of this game he's playing. Javert isn't sure what exactly it might be, but then again, that's one of the reasons he's down here, isn't it?

"I have seen you going under and coming up again. I _know_ you're here!"

Again, this voice. It has become a constant irritation, not unlike the person it belongs to. A constant reminder of each and every of Javert's failures and especially of his latest one. Failing to kill himself. Which wouldn't be half as annoying if the cause for his actions wasn't pacing along the river, calling out for him in this entirely inappropriate manner. Has the man no shame?

Javert's close to the surface, close to shore and he wonders – of course he does – how it is that he's not desperate for air yet. That not every single bone in his body is broken. That he is still alive. But all in all it's just the perfect culmination of this very night and everything that has led up to it. It doesn't make him less fretful about it, though.

Valjean calls out again, louder even this time: "That's enough now. I'm going in."

There is no way between heaven and hell that Javert will let him do such a thing. What is he thinking? Does he want to drag him out of the river? _Safe_ him _again_?

"Go away." Javert mutters, head peeking out through the dark waves.

He wishes Valjean would take offence for once and leave, but there is no mercy for him tonight.

"You are alive."

Even after screaming his name for a good five minutes – Javert's stomach _doesn't_ warm at the fleeting thought, of course not – he still sounds sufficiently surprised.

"I've always admired your ability to observe."

"How did you survive?" Valjean still appears to be in the middle of taking off his coat. For god's sake, was he truly about to jump in as well? "I thought you were done for when you hit the water, but then I saw you coming up and breathing - " he stops and starts again. "Well before you dived in once again."

Only that he clearly didn't take the hint to disappear and leave him be, Javert thinks to himself.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be in here, but rather up there, trying to fix my mistake."

"You shouldn't be talking like this."

It is incomprehensible that the gravity of his presence escapes Valjean so entirely. But then again, what did he expect?

"I'd rather there was no talking at all." Javert says, treading water, not willing to face the prospect of getting out in the not too far future. "Just leave me be. Just for once."

That on the other hand seems to have an impact on Valjean. His face becomes angry, even visible in the darkness of the night.

"I didn't spare your life to let you throw it away."

Javert shrugs in the water: "Then this whole situation must have turned out to your liking. How very pleasant for you."

"If you want to offend me, you might as well do it here on land. You're going to catch your death."

"As you might see that's what I've been trying to do."

"You _know_ what I mean."

"Do I?" A wave comes dangerously close to Javert's face and the water _stinks_. If only Valjean would leave and let him crawl out with the last bit of dignity that he has left. "You're the reason I'm here. You've killed me, Jean Valjean."

There is a pause and then they both start talking at the same time.

"Technically, you're alive –– "

"I might as well be –– "

They shut up, glaring at each other for a moment, neither willing to look away first.

Valjean is the first to break the silence: "What do you mean, I am the reason you're here?"

Javert looks away: "It is of no concern."

"It is of concern to me and I wished you'd come out and –– "

"And I wished you'd go." Javert groans. "Can you not understand you are the last person I wish to see right now?"

"I'm not leaving you like this. Not again."

"What have I done to deserve you?"

Valjean shakes his head, kneeling down on the stones and offering a hand to pull him out of the water: "Have you ever thought that we might deserve each other?"

Another pause, another moment of staring. Mildly exhausted on Valjean's part, deathly on Javert's. But again, neither of them looks away.

"That sounds less appealing than you probably think." Javert murmurs finally, yet he reluctantly reaches out for the hand. 

Once he is safely on shore, he wants to turn away, but somehow Valjean manages to drape his coat around his shoulders. Javert bites back an unwelcome laugh.

"After all this, you're worried that the cold will finish me?"

For the first time, Valjean seems unsure of himself, a little flushed even: "I might have a problem when it comes to helping people in need."

"You can thank me later."

"You're aware it should be the other way around?"

Javert wraps himself more tightly into the coat, suddenly very fond of the idea of sitting down next to a fire and coming back in the morning, with a better plan. Yes, that will do.

"For the record, I'm still angry." he mumbles into the fabric as they stroll away through the night. Valjean hides his smile behind his hand.


End file.
